When you get to the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on.

three beautiful ladies

2011-02-10T14:18:00.003+08:00

I'm dedicating this post to the three most deserving girls who made my poly life wort remembering.

Sophiani

I knew you since secondary school but we never talked until we met in poly. Hehe among us you probably is the most straight-forward and honest but your advices always come in at the right time. Thank you babe. I never really thought I'd be this close to you but I am, and I am glad I met you because you made my life a whole lot better. Without fail, everytime I have classes with you, our laughters are neverending. Heehee, I am definitely gonna miss you so much, and going crazy with you, and just you being there around me all the time. Remember, whenever there's me, there's you? Hehe life is gonna take us both on different paths now, but let's make an effort to maintain our friendship ok? pssst, can't wait for ur big day!!

Nadiah.

Ahh to think the girl that I used to dislike the first time I see her managed to carve a big big part on my life. Hee. Firstly, thank you babe for never failing to be there for me when I need you. I'll never forget the time I called you crying in the morning and you were there for me. Hehe. Thank you. I'll miss going crazy with you, you know? And endless camwhoring on people's phone (Soph is always the victim, hehe). So many things I've shared and went through with you in the past 3 years. So fast eh? I really hope you won't falter away from me since we will no longer be seeing each other frequently any more because you are one of the few girls who have seen me at my worst, my craziest moments and there's just so many awesome memories with you. Stay okay? :)

Aisha.

Among us, you're obviously considered as the quietest. Hehehe. But babe, you are the first friend I made in poly. I wasn't close to Nadiah and Soph remember? But I was close to you. Hehe. So of course I do not want you to go away in my life. Hehe, I'll miss having you come over my house la, going crazy over FYP and at the end of the day, end up having girls talk. Heehee. You'll always listen to me ranting on and on and on.. and for that, thank you! I know you'll always remember me as the girl who always wear a skirt and curly hair right? Hehe. Quick find a boyfriend please, you're not getting younger love. Hehehe.

So to all of you three girls, thank you. I can never thank you guys enough la because we've all been through so much the past three years, we've shared a lot of good memories. Other friends come and go, but all of us have stayed together throughout. :) Things will be different now onwards, all of us going different ways, but it is possible if all of us put in effort to catch up with each other now and then.

Love you three girls a lot a lot a lot!

HUGS&KISSES!

2011-01-31T12:30:00.002+08:00

You know the feeling of having so many things to say but you can't put all of them in words? Yeap, exactly what I'm feeling now. I just feel like talking, I wish I could do so with someone but I always have trouble doing so. I'd choked on my words, I'll sound incoherent or I'd just be a mute. Yeah that's the trouble with me, I can never put my emotions in words.

Right now, I have anger, disappointment, sadness, numb and just.. I don't know. I probably am immune to it already, it gets easier to heal every time but what hurts is that I'm always left alone to handle and pick up the pieces by myself every time my heart breaks. And every time I'm done picking up the pieces, someone breaks it again and I'd have to do the whole process another time. Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't bother picking the broken fragments since it's just gonna break again.

Oh wells, 2 words.

Fuck love.

2011-01-27T22:09:00.004+08:00

I used to be able to blog my thoughts out anytime I felt like it. Though lately typing it down seem to be such a difficult task. Even thinking of what to blog about seems to be one of the hardest things to do in life. Err yeah, you get the drift.

The year 2011 has been treating me good so far, Alhamdulillah. Of course along the way there are hiccups especially when it comes to the opposite sex but again, haven't they always been trouble? Well, for me at least. Haha. Whatever, not that I care... *roll eyes*

Oh yes! I am graduating school in less than a month. Pretty psyched bout it actually, but I'm not exactly anticipating working life. Working life to me means heavier responsibility.. and more bills to pay. Ha ha.

You see, typing that one chunk of words above took me about an hour. Can you believe it? I need to get my writing skills back! Used to enjoy penning down my thoughts anytime but now its such a chore... Doodeedoo.

Internet - Yay or Nay?

2010-09-22T01:00:00.003+08:00

I'm beginning to think that technology could be the cause of some relationship breakdowns. With the recent spate of arguments I've witnessed over the internet, I can safely say technology is harmful - when used inappropriately.

Facebook for instant - A social network great for catching up with friends and also a great platform to widen your circle of friends. However, it should be limited to that. It should not be used as a platform to voice your unhappiness regarding your family, friends and whoever. Why? Because as discreet as you try to be, it is the internet we're talking about and just ANYBODY can have access to it. I personally do not condone the act of airing your dirty linen in public. And in the case where I witnessed, blames were pushed to one another over who-told-who-about-this-and-that. You aired your dirty linen in public, don't go on blaming others when you get dirty looks. Blame yourself for using the internet as a platform to voice your opinions. It not only undermines your pride and dignity, it also affects your relationship with others.

That brings me to the question, yay or nay for the internet?

USA

2010-08-23T02:59:00.020+08:00

Hellooooo!

So I'm back from USA like, two weeks ago? Haha but never really got the mood to update this blog of mine. I was (take note: WAS) intending to write a detailed summary of the whole trip but phew, blogging is hard work! HAHA. I got really really really tired just trying to organize a little over 40 photos. -_- I wonder how other bloggers do it. Haha. So you can just see the photos below, which is very disorganized but heck care la kay. Give me credits for uploading a lot of photos which is very time consuming. I'm a very busy girl, you see. HAHA.

So yes the trip was way beyond awesome. Celebrated my 21st there and I had a blast. Missing 2 weeks of school was worth it :D. I loved Los Angeles and San Francisco! Despite it being summer over there, it was cold. I didn't like Vegas too much because the weather was hot. Too hot. 40-45 degrees. Crazy. I could feel my face tightened the minute I got off the bus. Oh the horror, poor daddy's bald head. Hahaha.

Walmart! I love this place. They have EVERYTHING.

And the below photos are at Disneyland! And it happens to be on my birthday too! Hehe I was planted with so many hugs and kisses by Donald Duck and Tigger, my sister got jealous :P

And if you have a sweet tooth, you'll love all this. We got none of them though because just looking at them makes us full. Haha, there were simply too many!

Look at what they can come up with using apples. So many flavours -_-

Hollywood Tower was crazy awesome! I love it!

And we ended the night with beautiful display of fireworks. I was in awe the whole time. Their fireworks was simply.. amazing. And it lasted a good 15 minutes.

Next day, we rented a car! We would have rented a Mustang but too bad, there were five of us so we rented a Chrysler instead. The rent was so friggin cheap! 0.0 (And from here onwards, its when the photos get disorganized :P)

SPONGEBOB!

Dad really liked the bed so he forced me to take a photo of him jumping onto the bed. So cute! Haha.

Golden Gate Bridge.

Hoover Dam. The only memory I have of this place is the heat!

Yosemite Waterfall. Well that's what is left of it since its summer. Hahaha.

I went on the Skywalk at Grand Canyon!

They have a replica of the Eiffel tower in Vegas. Haha! Only 1/3 of the actual tower size though.

AHHHH I LOVE VICTORIA'S SECRET!

Al Catraz. Interesting history.

Walk of fame!

Okay tired already. Need to send Elfie for his jab. Bye!

Elfie & Elsa

2010-07-28T23:17:00.001+08:00

Okay. Just to make my blog a little less dull, I shall show you my new loves who always keep me company :)

I love them both!

hello, how's you?

2010-07-28T23:12:00.003+08:00

Its been so long since I last wrote a proper post here. I've been too busy with projects and such, but it's all good now.

What I'm looking forward to now is my 21st birthday! And i'll be celebrating it in.. USA! Hehehe. I can't wait. I need this break. I'm leaving this Saturday, I've yet to pack my stuffs. In a while.

Anyway I just wanted to say, Hi. It's been a while. I miss this space. And, I have no idea how to insert a tagboard here. Haha. Oh well, when I'm free, I shall figure that out. :)

i miss you

2010-07-05T03:12:00.003+08:00

Hi grandpa,

I wonder how you're doing..

I miss you so so so much ='(

Can't believe its almost 6 months you're gone, but the wound in my heart is still very raw.

I really wish you were here with me..

Love you always.

long weekend

2010-05-31T00:20:00.003+08:00

Well I just updated about my long weekend but I feel so long winded in that entry and didn't feel like putting it up. HAHAHA. I just read through it and was like.. I don't need to blog about all this, it's redundant. So yeah. Haha.

But just a summary of what I did during the long weekend, we basically celebrated my mum's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM! For 4 days straight we had things lined up. Haha :) Great weekend, really.. Mum had two birthday cakes this year, we barbecued, played badminton and soccer, cooked pasta and more.

Ooooh today we watched Prince of Persia! Can't believe I'd say this but I really liked the movie. I was actually not quite looking forward to the movie because I didn't think I'd actually enjoy it, but I did! And I don't know what is it with me but why does the hero always have to be so good looking? Haiyerr. I think in all the movies I watched, I always fall in love with the male lead. HAHA. Psycho much? I must get it etched in my head that they're just actors! Heh. By the way I think the princess is really pretty too!

I sidetracked there a little did I? Haha.

Anyway, mum said she really enjoyed her birthday weekend! So glad :) But poor mum, the fever bug was circulating around. First it was my uncle, then my cousin and then it got to mum :( I hope you get well soon mummy. I love love love love youuuuuuuu. All of you take care of yourself too kay? I think a lot of people are getting sick nowadays. Hope it'll pass soon.

Do you know what I feel like doing now? Posting photos.. OF ME. HAHAHAHHAHAHA. I have been taking so many photos from the desktop webcam! I think I'm in love with it.. It takes good photos, and the screen is so huge la. So fun. Hehe. Plus I don't have to transfer photos from the camera or something.. Convenient! I like.

But then again.. maybe next post. I know my post have been wordy but.. heh. Can't help it. Maybe I shall go change my blogskin or something..

Or maybe I should watch movies online..

Or maybe I should just go to sleep.

Maybe.

OH YOU KNOW WHAT! My body clock is no longer screwed! I sleep early nowadays, which is a good thing. However, my eyes cannot take it if I want to stay up late nowadays because its the holidays and simply because I can, which is the not so good thing. How now? Tsk.

positive vibes

2010-05-24T13:55:00.005+08:00

Guess what?

I have photos from over 3months ago which I have yet to upload from my camera! HAHAHAHA. Goodness! I totally forgot about it until my dear Soph reminded me about the photos we took on the last day of the previous semester. I tell you, procrastination will not get you anywhere! Heh. And I'm such a lazy bugger to update the photos on my facebook, which is a lot i tell you! Bzzzzzt.

Oh hey, its Monday today and I don't feel blue. In fact I have been feeling pretty happy despite the tons of pressure clinging on to me, especially FYP. I don't know why, but there's just some positive vibe surrounding me and I love it. Plus I choose to shake off the negative vibe and look on the bright side of things. After all, life's too short to worry too much, right? So therefore, Thank you Allah, for bestowing peace upon me. Life's really beautiful when I put the negativities aside. Try it :) You can see the contrast between this post and the previous post. HEH. Of course I have some downs going on too but why should I spread it, right? :)

So whaaaaaat's good? Its the holi-holi-holidays coming up soon in 3 days! Despite it being only for two weeks, I still am thankful because I can use that time to complete my FYP and at the same time catch up with my friends! After which another 8 weeks of school and I'm done for this semester. Pretty fast ey? I know some are probably thinking, "Hey that means FYP is to be submitted soon, idiot." HAHA I know I know and I don't deny that but hey think positive, don't spread negative thoughts around alright people? Its uncalled for. Really. :) You can keep the negative thoughts to yourself but DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT SPREAD IT TO ME. I DON'T WANT THAT! Hehehehe. I have changed for the better okay this semester!

(Okay itu macam paham but really lah! I haven't been absent at all, nor late or even partial-ed any classes this half of the semester! Major improvement coming from me okay if you compare it to my previous two years conduct!)

Okay my marketing faci is baaaaack. 3rd meeting now and its home sweet home. Sweet :)

-

2010-05-04T23:19:00.002+08:00

I didn't realise its been a month since my last update. I actually thought I updated quite frequently. Haha.

So yes I've started school already, 3 weeks to be exact. I've been really busy with school especially with FYP taking up a lot of my free time. Boohoo. I even do my work on Friday/Saturday/Sunday nights can you believe that?! Zzzz. Don't worry, I can't believe it either. Plus off days on Wednesdays are taken up by FYP. Sigh sigh. So many times I feel like quitting and giving up, but I keep telling myself its the last hurdle. And I keep having breakouts on this face of mine due to stress and the late nights I've had. Its terrible. It would help a lot if I'm not constantly surrounded with words of discouragement because it can really bring me down.

School aside, last few days marked the 100th day since Atuk left us. I miss him so so much that words can't describe it. I miss going over to my Aunt's place just to see him, cause now whenever I go over it's just not the same. I don't see him on the bed anymore and I miss entertaining him. And from this year on, Raya will be without him.. =(

Okay this is getting too depressing, let's move away from here.

Family. Yeah its all good except I miss my brother a lot. Sometimes I wish I could have him for just one day, where it'll just be him, sis, me and my parents. And it'll just be the five of us throughout. I wish, but definitely that is not possible because he's got his own family now and its so hard to see him despite us living not very far away. But if I could have that one day, I'll trade a few years of my life just for it.

Wait, I wanted to blog happy things. But I feel like this entry sounds really miserable. =/

Okay before I blab more unhappy things I better go now.

nostalgia

2010-04-04T23:49:00.003+08:00

So a cousin of mine uploaded photos from the times when we were younger.. Such sweet, sweet memories. Looking back at those photos made me feel happy yet sad and got me wishing I could live those times yet again. Those were the times when things we families were so close knitted. It was good times, good ol' times.

Now, things have changed so much. Some have departed for good, some have chosen the wrong path, some have left and build a new family, we the children have grown up. Some have got married and with kids, most of us are falling in and out of love.. We've all somehow or rather taken our own path in life and its been a while since we last had a gathering where its all just to have fun. The last gathering we had wasn't for a happy occasion, rather it marked my grandpa 40th day since he's been gone.

I'm not saying right now things have changed so drastically. Its still good, but the changes, no doubt, can be felt. Its not the same as back then, because we were kids and we don't know what goes on. All we know was we were happy playing with each other and that's that. But as we grow up, we've all got our own mindset and preferences. I can definitely feel the distance between my cousins and me because we've been brought up together and now its just different. Maybe its the age gap, I don't know. :) I tend to hang out with the adults(am missing them a whole lot especially after looking through the photos!) more than them. Haha. Funny. Must be the age gap. Anyhoos, I still love my family a lot despite the changes. Change or not, nothing's going to change the fact we're a family.

Bonne nuit!

april showers

2010-04-01T01:12:00.007+08:00

So.. March just flew by and April's here. Too fast, don't you agree?

Anyway in a short span of 4 weeks, March has taught me some pretty useful stuffs. One of the most important thing I learnt was - Never be too nice. I don't like the idea that I pretty much pamper and try to be nice to people I love but its almost or never reciprocated. As much as I often try to keep my emotions under control - just so i never hurt anyone unnecessarily, people just don't do the same. Fuck it. Instead they step all over your head. Talk about gratitude. *roll eyes.

Think about it, how much angst can a person contain? I've definitely contained more than any average person could cause trust me, no one has ever, in my 20 years of living seen me blow up due to anger. And even right now, I'm full of angst as I'm typing all these but I'm still keeping my emotions in check.

And you know whats sad? Most of the people I'm referring to happens to be in the list of people I loved so much - or at least, used to and never expected to be treated this way, because I used to believe that kindness will be paid with kindness. Thanks, but its all bull to me now, cause you all made me think otherwise. Don't expect me to be the same towards you anymore. And if you think I'm referring to you, its probably because your conscience is tugging at your heartstrings.

P.S//I'm probably just being cranky now, but there's no smoke without fire, am I right? :)

hold me in your arms

2010-03-24T05:24:00.003+08:00

Its 5.24am in the morning now and I'm still wide awake. Seriously, how do you guys get yourself to sleep easy? What do you guys think of before sleeping? I tend to think a lot before bed. The other time I tried sleeping early at 10 and woke up around midnight instead of the next day. Annoying! And the thing I hate about sleeping late is, waking up when the sun is at its peak. That is half a day wasted just like that.

So I'm left with about 3 weeks or so of the holidays and I aim to wake up early everyday so I don't waste it. I'll start.. from today! Hee.. Cause I'm pretty sure my sister will wake me up in a few hours to go out. Haha. She told me we'd probably be heading down to east coast to cycle. Nicee.. I think in order to get my body clock back in track, I should exhaust myself the whole of today and sleep early tonight, yes?

I don't have much to say except leave you guys with visuals of some events that happened the past few weeks. I need to try and sleep soooon! But really, trust me when I say this. By the time I'm about to really sleep well, sister is going to bug the hell outta me! HAHA. And then I'll get cranky at her and she'll nag at me until I get my butt off the bed. Heh am used to it, right sister? Love you nonetheless. ;)

(i love this particular photo of bad! She looks so pretty and happy!)

Actually not much photos to see because I realised I haven't upload most of them. Heeee :) Like you all don't know me like that. I'm such a procrastinator.

Anyway to all my girlfriends, let's all meet up soon okay? Me miss you all many many! Can you all don't be such a workaholic and spend some time with me?! HAHA.

Love-Hate

2010-03-23T04:37:00.001+08:00

I spent Monday night / Tuesday morning with my cousins ( mamat & khaleed) plus my sis. It was really nice to be talking bout everything, especially about my grandpa.

Today, i missed him more than ever. To add to that, we talked bout our late aunt too. I miss her too.

It doesn't rain but it pours. I hope I don't have to lose someone close to me too, even if we'll meet again years later. I want you to be here with us. Not there :'( I'm hoping all this is just a bad dream. I'll miss you so.. God, let this just be a phase where he'll get off unscathed. Please.

Just so you all know, i love all of you. Even those who have hurt me and vice versa.

Take the time to let the people close to you that you love them. Life's too short so don't waste it. You never know when you'll ever get to see them again.

Love,
Sheila.

- Posted using BlogPress.

forty days

2010-03-01T21:31:00.006+08:00

Its been 40 days since you left us. Time flies too fast. I miss and think of you every single day. And the one vivid image thats etched in my mind of you is the night before you passed away. You opened your eyes for the final time, look at all of us around you and the next day you just went away.. Maybe that's your way of saying goodbye. Whatever it is, I pray you're somewhere safe now with the people you love, grandpa.

I love you so much, always have.

And you're always in my memory..

nobody said it was easy

2010-02-24T18:34:00.005+08:00

Is anyone else encountering the same problem as me? Zzzz. This sucks. And the changes I made to the blog is just making it dull and boring but I don't care! I'm not a frequent blogger anyway and as much as I'm trying to blog more, I can't! I don't have any interesting contents going on in my daily life. Besides, I'm like a house-daughter now. Ha-ha. I clean the house, I cook and I just do the task as what a housewife would do. There are the occasional outings I have with my friends or family too, of course.

I have lots of things I want to do during the holidays but most of my friends are busy with their internship, some are still schooling - their holidays aren't here yet and some are just working. So its like .......! And the only time all of them are free are on weekends!

And most of my weekends are set aside for my family. Bah. It just grows with age I guess. Back then when I was younger my weekends would be with my friends and such but as I grow older I tend to spend most of my time with my family. But of course I still need my friends. Just a handful of good friends who are there all the time is more than enough for me. :)

Anyway on a sidenote, I have decided.. to give up. :) Decisions like this are often hard to make but well, I don't want to wait for something that never was there, its pointless. I'm wasting too much time on it. You all don't know what I'm referring to anyway. You don't have to know. It's a little personal decision I made within myself. I only have myself to blame. ;)

Ahhhh well. Life goes on, yes? :)

would you?

2010-02-11T04:02:00.004+08:00

I feel I've shunned too many people out of my life. I'm not sure why but its like I've build a wall around me to protect myself. The world out there seems really scary at time. Those who bothered would just stay and be with me despite the walls obstructing us while some would linger a while but make their own way soon after. But I've come to realized that what I need is people who would actually bother to break down the walls to be with me. I cannot afford to break down the walls by myself because I'm not strong enough.

And lately its been really suffocating in there, I need new air to breathe. I've been in there for too long, it's slowly killing me. The air is clouded with too much loneliness, too much pain and anger, so much so that even breathing is harmful. But I don't blame anyone because I chose to keep everything within that confined space. If anyone is to blame, that would be me. But now I need to get out of there and breathe new air.

Now wait, the point is..

Who would bother enough to help me break down the walls?

You, you or you?

this is for my love

2010-01-24T19:52:00.005+08:00

Hey grandpa,

Its been four days since you left us. I miss you so much. But knowing the fact that you're now reunited with the people you love that is your wife, your daughter, your grandchildren, your siblings and all that has left before you helps to heal me a little. You're constantly asking about your sister especially, always calling out for her and knowing you finally met makes me happy. I'm glad in your final days, I managed to seek your forgiveness and without fail, telling you I love you whenever I get to. At least I know that you know that I love you, so so much. Don't worry grandpapa, even though you're not here physically anymore, know you'll always be here in my heart, still very much alive.

Hey grandpa,

I have so many fond memories of you and me. It'd be never ending if I were to list all of them. Thanks for the memories grandpa, thinking of them makes me happy and at the same time sad. But I'm thankful that I have it all for keeps, for me to reminisce them and just to know that I experienced it all with you. Insyaallah, I will meet you again when the time is right.

The wound in my heart is still very much raw, because when you left, you brought along a huge chunk of it with you. But don't worry, time heal all wounds. I love you grandpa. My heart still aches when I think of you but I promise you it'll be fine again soon.

Hey grandpa,

You're constantly in my mind. I love you ok? I know I've told you that many times and I'm glad I did, else I'd be filled with regrets by now. I know I've tried my best in taking good care of you especially when you were living with us. I'll miss everything about you and till we meet again, take care when you're up there grandpa. I know you'll be looking over us. Be in peace now, catch up with the people you've always missed. :) Till we meet again.

I love you.

In loving memory of Haji Wari Bin Hodri,

14/09/1938 - 21/01/2010.

Love,

Your Grand-Daughter, Sheila.

meet me halfway

2009-12-16T00:40:00.009+08:00

I intended to have more photos but blogger uploading process is really slow today so lets just make do with this few. I did try photobucket too but the photos were too big! And I am too lazy to resize them. Haha. :)

So yeap. I mentioned we went to Marina Barrage the other time right? My brother-in-law wanted to play around his camera so I took the chance to play with mine too. Well I definitely got lots more to learn! =/ Maybe I should enroll myself into a photography course since I i am interested in it. Haha. Ok ni bebual macam paham je :)

I was in the mood to edit my photos today, so here are some.

I think I like this photo. HAHA. Like nice only I see. Hmm.

This one we went to the Merlion to test our camera in the day. Hahaha. =/ It was scorching hot I tell you. Bleagh. I don't have much photos with me cause it was too hot = me cranky = sit one corner and just take candid photos of my sister & Fiza. I haven't got the photos from my brother-in-law yet.

My cousin's wedding!

I think he makes a handsome groom ey? Hehe.

My awesome family :D

My cousins :)

They look so cute hor in this photo? Hehe.

Okay I am done here. Oh hell yeah, have I mentioned, its the holidays now? Weee! I am off to Jakarta on the 25th with my parents! A getaway. Great, just what I needed. :)

Holiday mood is here

2009-12-05T00:46:00.000+08:00

Hrmmmm i is so lazy now when it comes to updating my blog. Anyway! A week more to the holidays. I can't wait. Wonder where my parents wanna bring me to this holiday. Phuket? Hmmm.

- A fight just broke out at the coffeeshop. Malay youngsters. Tsk. Kentalism you know. One minute they were shouting at each other, then one of the guy ran into some blocks. The rest chased after him. Like a few guys against one. -.- not really sure though. But anyway i think its a wrong move to go into the blocks. Confirm kene rembat.

OK STOP!! Omg i so kepo hor? HAHAHA. But i was blogging when it happened! Might as well i update bout it lor. Definitely something more interesting than talking bout school right?!

Talking bout school, I think my attendance this week was really bad. I skipped twice! One was unintentional! I overslept. :( Nvm, i'll only need to endure a week more!

So the other time, i finally stepped on marina barrage! I know right, so ketinggalan zaman. Haha. Lovely view at night! Took alot of photos which i havent uploaded of course. Like you don't know me like that. Heehee.

Okayla, i is so tired typing from my itouch. Keyboard so small!! Byeeeeeee.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iTouch

!"$:-;?&;

2009-11-22T03:23:00.001+08:00

Feeling so pissed off with some people.

uh oh uh oh

2009-11-04T00:54:00.005+08:00

There isn't much for me to update! School has been a sucker (as always) and my daily routine is just to get up, survive the day and back to sleep! That's basically how I've been spending my days. No life eh? I know right. =( Other than that, I've just been fulfilling my duty as a daughter, driving my parents around wherever they want to go. And i bloody hate road bullies! Especially them taxi drivers! Sungguh irritating to the maximum tau!

I miss my girlfriends like alot! I haven't met them like a gazillion years, other than bumping into Liza at school during lunch! HAHA. I'm sure Kilaa is busy with work right now (please take care ok love!) and Bad.. I just haven't heard alot from her! And Finny, so so long she's gone MIA! You girls are always in my mind okay!

Okay..

My UT's start tomorrow onwards. :( So fast eh? Oh well I need to read up on the 6th P's like nowwwwwwwww.

And it's Zima's birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVEEEE.

running low on m.o.t.i.v.a.t.i.o.n.

2009-10-18T21:58:00.008+08:00

Okay, I won't deny the fact that I have been soooo lazy to blog nowadays. So let me try to update as much as possible before the lazy bug sets in me again. :D

1) I've got my own car!

This is probably one of the best things that happened to me this year, apart from getting my license. My parents bought it for me, without me even asking them for it. Lucky, yes? And no, I'm not a spoilt brat, I swear I didn't bug them for a car after getting my license. I never asked

for a car from them, what I had in mind was that we could just rent one anytime we feel like it, but dad said he has always been waiting for a member of the family to get a driving license so he could get a car. :) Thank you parents. I can never ever ever thank you both enough. I am definitely loving my new baby, my Honda Fit! We've been to lots of places though I only got him

5 days ago. Yishun, Changi, Geylang.. Lots more! Hehe. However, I haven't got the green light from them yet to drive on my own. Soon, perhaps. :) Anyway, my baby Fit got a good wash and polish by me and daddy yesterday :) with a lil help from my niece too of course, who helped by keeping the car wet when we were trying to dry it. Hehehehe :D

2) School

Okaaaay, this. School hasn't been any fun lately. I don't know why. Tomorrow is already the third week and my mood is still sullen for it. In fact, I am dragging my feet to school nowadays, and am already thinking of declaring tomorrow as a holiday. Why didn't we get any public holiday for Deepavali?! Hmpf unfair unfair unfair! I think I need more motivation to go to school.. My grades have been going downhill, but I'm not bothered by it, yet.

3) Birthdays

October. 2 of my girlfriends birthday. Miss Shakila Akbar turns twenteen-one! Her boyfriend planned a sweet surprise for her, though her reaction wasn't close to how I was expecting! Haha nonetheless I hope you had a great time and loved the present from us! :D

Next.. Miss Najiha Syed turns 18! We had a mini-celebration among us and she got caked by us. Hehe. Well at the end of the day, we all got dirty anyway. Hahaha. I know you enjoyed it right babe? Hehe. Happy 18th!

So probably thats the highlights of what has been happening so far.. Oh yesssssssssssssss! Tomorrow I am going for Project Hope! I is so excited because Taufik Batisah will be there! Hehehehe.

Should I go school tomorrow? 90% of me says no, the other 10% says yes.

truth is ugly

2009-09-25T15:39:00.004+08:00

HOT KAN! DON'T DENY! ;)

I just caught The Ugly Truth with Nadiah and I have to say the movie is awesome! Go watch it! And part of the reason why its awesome is because of Eric Winter. Hehe he is so cuteeeee. But really, other than that, the movie is good. I don't mind watching it again. Hehe. Go go go go watch!

Oh, Gerard Butler is not bad either! :D

live, laugh, love

2009-09-22T23:48:00.007+08:00

Here are some photos from the first and second day of Raya! (I'm not in the photos from second day because I don't like taking photos while in home clothes and all the guests are looking awesome in the traditional clothes. Awkward la. Hehe.)

Niece and nephew! :)

The children and in-laws of my parents.

All of us! I love. :D

Mum's side. Except for the ones in orange. They're on my dad's side but they came really late. Doesn't matter actually, we all get along very well anyways!

Dad's side!

Mum's side. Over at my aunt's place to visit grandpa. =) I want to put photos of me and grandpa but he too sexy la. He didn't put on his top. Hahaha.

Abg Erwin's side!

Dad's side. They like to tease me. Hahaha.

Today, since me and sister were bored at home, we decided to make "Money Bags". Hahaha its dumpling actually but it looks like money bags thus the name. Hehe its awesome! Sister is on annual leave next week so we're planning to bake and cook something different then. I am so going to make Oreo Cheesecake! Hehehe.

There! They look pretty don't you think? Hahaha.

Anyway girls drop by http://vivalabombom.livejournal.com/2124.html if you're free! My friend's selling some of her stuffs. :)

Eid Mubarak '09

2009-09-22T02:12:00.003+08:00

The only reason I love this photo is because this is the complete family photo. We've never really had one where its only the original five of us because both my siblings are married. So there you go. Dad wants to frame this up in his room. I want to print this photo too for memory sake. :)

More updates prolly sometime in the next 24 hours. Heh.

Happy Eid Mubarak my friends!

time waits for no man

2009-09-11T02:11:00.004+08:00

OKAY. I really should be devoting all the time I have now to my PP before Raya sets in. But instead, I got distracted by plenty of time wasters. Facebooking, watching videos, editing photos, bloghopping, games.. Ahh You name it. I did it. :(

Serious shit I think I do best when it comes to procrastinating. If procrastinating is a job, I'd totally succeed in it and be one of the best employee ever, earning the biggest bucks and I'd be a millionaire by now. I should totally make procrastination my forte man and specialise in it. Wooo! Maybe I should.

Okay shut up, wishful thinking.

I promise to commit all the time I have tomorrow to my PP! Its spring cleaning this weekend, I'm off to JB the following Monday and PP draft is due Tues! I doubt I got any more time to complete my PP, besides tomorrow. =/ Ok maybe not tomorrow, right after I finish this blog entry, I'm off to continue on my PP. Not that sleepy anyway.

Oh yesssss I've uploaded all the photos from my digicam, like finally and realised I have a whole lot of photos that I've totally forgotten about. Plenty of overdue photos that is so basi already. Hahaha. I is such a sucker when it comes to uploading photos. So sorry. =/

By the way I have passed my TP as most of you already know! Yay! I don't have to take the bloody long bus trips to Ubi anymore. Happy! Okay photos time!

I loved the time spent with them! They ditched their personal transport and went public, and we had such a cosy time as a family, eating ice-creams and just enjoying the company. I wish for more outings like this with my family! This time with my brother's family as well. :D

Sophiani's engagement! Congratulations babe, I am happy for you! And lucky me I am from both her Sem 1 Year 1 class and Sem 1 Year 2 class, so that's why you see me on both photos with a different set of people! Hehe!

This was sometime around the last week of school, and as a standard procedure, many students are having their self-declared holiday. Hahaha. So we don't have a class photo consisting of everyone. But anyway W64H, you guys have been great! :)

Nadiah's 18th. Us being her sweetest friends, we surprised her with cakes and gifts outside her class. Heh. Aww, I miss them.

Yesterday! Kak Ina and Abg Kassim treated us all to dinner cum break-fast at BaliThai. Awesome. Thank you for the treat! I love the Tomyam so yummmms. Hahaha.

As you can see, I'm rushing through the entry because I need to get started on my project already! Its 3.25am now. 0.0 Yesssss time is running out!

naive

2009-09-01T03:31:00.007+08:00

It dispels and brought along the promises that comes with it. Surprisingly enough, not even words were left, it was as though I had just waken up from a bad dream when in fact, I knew it was for real. You dazzle me with how you could commit a crime and get away with it because there just wasn't enough evidence to deem you guilty.

Words should be justified with actions, to ascertain the level of truth that comes with it. Despite the fact that I am cautious enough not to fall for any trap, I still find myself trusting the wrong person at the wrong time. Too trusting or just plain gullible? Or are people just plain cruel to toy around with feelings? Maybe the satisfaction of doing so is so high that no amount of ecstacy can level to it? It makes me wonder how all this works, really.

Anyways.

Happy 29th Birthday Kak Dira!

I love you and I hoped you liked the surprise just now. :)

lackadaisical

2009-08-25T00:06:00.002+08:00

I'm having my final UT tomorrow for this semester and I can't wait to end it! Weeee! Awesome. :) The class is planning to go to Sentosa tomorrow but I don't think I'm tagging along seeing that its the fasting month and going to the beach doesn't seem to be a good idea. Whatmore with the weather getting hotter and hotter day by day. Ahhh. =/ Sorry guys, but have fun anyways yeah? :) We got plenty of time for other plans during the holidays!

Anyway, my TP is two weeks away, I've yet to renew my PDL which expires in days.. I've got a lot of practicals lined up for me in the next two weeks.. Ergh. =/ I don't feel the excitement of going for practical often even though I get to drive because of some reason. Whatever, shall just get it done and over with soon, hopefully.

Okay, I need to start studying for UT! Its at 830am tomorrow!

Bonne nuit!

the last hurdle

2009-08-19T01:45:00.002+08:00

I had coffee two hours ago.

Then I had milo an hour ago.

Now, I am drinking Redbull.

The things I do to stay awake. -_-

And its 1.45 now!

I hope my tummy don't give me any problems with all the drinks I've consumed. Hahaha.

Oh yes back to studying now!

happy 18th love

2009-08-17T14:00:00.004+08:00

"Surprised Nadiah in class today for her birthday and it was awesome.Though she pretended to be shy, like 99.9% of the time, but that made me laughed even more because she was just not being herself. I have to face her 'im shy sia', instead of 'sheila, i got such a nice smile rightt'. Always self proclaiming herself, but on her special day she was just being so 'oh-im-really-shy'. HAHA! Youve turned 18 hunney, so behave like your age! Nyehehe."

Familiar much? Hehe! Well hunney, I hope you liked what we did for you today and it's so nice to see that smile etched on your pretty face. And I wish you all the lovely blessings in the world and may you get what you ever wished and dreamt for love.

I love you babe :)

lady gaga said to fuck off

2009-08-14T01:28:00.002+08:00

Lady Gaga concert last Wednesday at Fort Canning was awesome! Though we had to wait so long for the concert to start (it was supposed to start at 8 but lady gaga star karat mah so 930 then start), i think the wait was quite worth it! Lady Gaga had no qualms about spewing vulgarities to the crowd and I like it. :) Haha. And yeah she was craaaaaazy! Doing acrobats and sorts on her piano and all, and she sounded good live! It was definitely a good experience, and I am so hoping Beyonce will come and do her own solo concert here! Well photos have yet to be uploaded! Waiting for my sister to upload them because clever me, I didn't bring my digicam. =D

"...., tell them lady gaga said to fuck off." I can't remember what she said before that but my sister recorded it on video so maybe I'll upload it if I'm not lazy. Haha. And yeah, I like that quote from her. Heehee.

By the way, I had a dream the other time. And I still remember it vividly because I believe the dream was trying to tell me something!

Well, me and Nadiah had our UT3's one particular day and so after we keyed in the UT key, we immediately put our laptop to sleep and left the class. We then went to the National Library and tried to do our UT3 there (D0n't ask me why, its a dream dammit). Well of course we couldn't get through. We kept on trying and trying and finally got through! Happily we did our test, taking our own sweet time but then the test suddenly morph into an application for maid. HAHAHAHAHA.

So what I derived from the dream was that we both better start studying for our test or the only job awaiting us in future is a domestic helper!

HAHAHAHAHA.

Anyway I am currently back to reading my books. I bought two books by Mitch Albom yesterday and borrowed a child called It from Fizah and I can't wait to start reading them! Weeeeeee.

But before that, let me remind myself to study for UT3 please! Bloody Java UT3 is on next Wed! Oh noooooooooooooooo!

life's beautiful pleasures

2009-08-08T17:23:00.003+08:00

Helloooo! :D

Yesterday night was total madness for me and Fiza because at 1am in the morning, we had nothing better to do so we set up the camera (semangat dengan tripod stand oi) and ransacked my mom's cupboard for "props". HAHA. Totally funny and we couldn't stop laughing while viewing through the photos. Haha whatmore there weren't any parents to stop us or nag at us so yeah. Heh, photos up on facebook already. :D Me wants more of this together with my other cousins and sister please!

Not to forget, thank you Nadiah & Aisha for the birthday surprise yesterday! So much for Nadiah wanting to get a dress for her cousin. Haha. You girls are so sweet, I love you both and the others so much. :) I don't have the photos with me now, so wait for the next post. Heh. And thank you for the treat at Pizza Hut.

On the dim note, my laptop needs a new charger, fast. I have a feeling that it won't be long till it dies off on me. =/ Ergh. Maha irritating sih! I am currently using the home desktop and it lags so bad. Hmpf. But I like the sound of me typing using this keyboard. Hoho! Feels like writing a whole lengthy post full of nothings just because of this. Haha!

Anyway I'm hoping that tonight's plan to go bowling with family will be on! Yeah my parents are home already, I am just awaiting my sister and bro-in-law to be home tomorrow night! Sis called and told me they got a lot of awesome things for me. Can't wait to see them. :D And ahh, though there are plans to go see the fireworks tomorrow, I think I'll give it a miss and rather catch Singapore Idol on tv! I don't like the aftermath of it anyway, with the crowds and all.

Meeting my FF girlies this Monday! Weeee!

-

When I read my post back, I realised life's beautiful afterall. Of course ups and downs are inevitable, you lose some & you gain some, but look at the people around who makes it all good. Makes everything so perfect. I love you all for existing in my life. :)

Have a good rest and enjoy your long weekend! And ooooooooh! One week of school and one week of test left till the semester break. Awesome.

awesome birthday

2009-08-06T15:11:00.005+08:00

My birthday celebration last Saturday was awesome. I had so much fun and I hope all of you who came did too! Am happy that majority (90%) of people who came stick to the theme. Thank you for all the efforts put in!

I am so lazy to elaborate more. And anyway I am in class right now with the 6P drowning behind me. Can't wait for semester break please! Oh! I baked awesome oreo cheesecakes yesterday and it's so awesomeee. Hehe pictures another time!

Hiatus

2009-07-30T09:18:00.001+08:00

Be back soon. :)

like a star

2009-07-29T17:20:00.004+08:00

3 more days to my bash! :D

Anyway, I am contemplating if I should sleep over my brother's house. My parents are leaving to Bandung for a holiday, so is my sister and my bro-in-law who're leaving for Australia, leaving me all alone at home for about a week. Sigh, bloody school. I'd have followed otherwise. Parents insist I sleep over my brother's cause they're worried having me alone at home. And my mum tried to scare me by telling me bout the nenek keropok. HAHA. But yeah I most prolly want to stay home instead because I have school and I can't possibly bring my clothes all over there! Very troublesome! Hmmmm.

I loved today. Though I did nothing much, I occupied myself by reading and having time just by myself! Two more days of unbearable module in school and I'm looking forward to an awesome weekend! Great. :)

Speaking about the weekend, I still have tons of things that needs my attention! =/ I should get help with my procrastination issue huh. :( Maybe I should get started on it pronto! But maybe I should continue reading cause it makes me feel awesomely gooooooood. :)

I know I'm so indecisive like that right. Hahaha. Tell me what's new.

eating me up on the inside

2009-07-28T01:50:00.003+08:00

I have this pang of uncertainty within me and I don't like it. =/ I need to know some things but at the same time I do not want to know. Get me? But this curiosity is bugging me bad and it's so hard to ignore this feeling. Ergh. I feel so incomplete but urgh whatever, whatever. I hope this feeling dissolve in time. I really need to get rid of this and continue looking at the bright side.

But what's there to see if there's a shadow casting over on the supposingly, bright side?

Anyway meeting the mates and girlies were awesome. More updates about that when I am in the mood to post photos already.

On a different note, I miss you, JWM. A lot. :)

sleepless solitude

2009-07-24T23:06:00.005+08:00

Despite today being a friday, meaning the weekends are here, my day did not end on a good note. No thank you to the java faci, who never fails to spoil my day! Just the mere mention of her name pisses me off big time! Thank god there's only three weeks left till I bid her goodbye, and hopefully never meet her again. What more after her class ended, I was just outside my home when Vincent called, telling me I left my bloody laptop charger in class! So I had to retreat back to school to collect it since my laptop cannot function without the charger! Sheeeeeesh. Bloody irritating.

On a different note, I caught Jangan Pandang Belakang Congkak with Nad & Aisha last Wednesday and I'd have to say it was funny! Maybe you all should catch it if you're interested because you are definitely guaranteed a bundle of laughs inside the cinema. Hahaha.

And my cough hasn't got any better and it has prolonged for three weeks! This is bad but I cannot consume fluid medication because they're just so.. yucky. So no cough medicine for me. =/ And I'm down with slight flu which is super irritating, I swear! Ergh.

I'm meeting my girls and prolly a few others on Sunday for bowling! Can't wait! And I'm going out with my family tomorrow. I think I should sought treatment for my hair because its been a little too dry these days. Hmmmm.

girl senget

2009-07-22T21:03:00.004+08:00

HAHAHAHA.

Okay my primary schoolmate made me laugh out loud. He found me on facebook and afterwards he messaged me. And then he said something so funny(to me funny lah!)

I didn't know the way I write has become a trademark of mine. I know alot of people has mentioned this to me before(that the way I write is weird) but coming from someone who I haven't met since about ten years ago or so is funny, somehow!

Hahaha!

wildlife refuge

2009-07-22T01:02:00.006+08:00

I really would love to update about the zoo trip but I'm really sleep right now. And I had to choose from almost 900 photos just to collage the photos so you all can have a preview of what we did, its no wonder my eyes are tired. Haha. Please say I am nice and sweet enough to do so. Haha.

Anyways, I screwed my UT2 for Web Multimedia.

And I'm watching Ice Age 3D tomorrow with Nad and Aisha.

Awesome.

And oh, Harry Potter was great.

Loveeee white tigers! They're so adorable.

The butterfly on the left is dead I guess. :( It got stepped on.

I'll edit this entry with more photos if I'm not that lazy tomorrow. Haha. :)

bitter

2009-07-20T23:44:00.003+08:00

I get so pissed at times when I know of things I don't want to. Knowing too much or too little isn't good, you know. Many times, people never mean what they say. They make promises, they beautify words in such a way that you'll be enticed to it, they make you feel like you're the world to them. You get yourself into a heartrending situation when you know of the truth and you've been duped into believing words that, really, has no meaning behind it at all. Words conspired to cheat you of your feelings.

You know what? I'm never believing anything coming from you anymore. The word trust was never meant to exist in my dictionary, especially when it comes into term with the male homo sapiens.

double happiness and more

2009-07-14T00:03:00.006+08:00

The first few photos below are taken a few weeks (or months) back. I know I'm such a sucker when it comes to uploading photos. HAHA. So so sorry to whom I owe photos okay? Check my facebook in the next few days for me to upload the rest :) I hope I don't procrastinate any further though =/

Above photos were taken when we had a short trip to Geylang to source for a new domestic helper.

We were supposed to dressed up as Red Indians according to our theme for the flea market but as you can see, we all don't really look how we should, right? HAHA.

One of the meet-ups with my FF girlies! All of us together. Awesome :)

And I got the most awesome surprise ever last Saturday when parents gave me an advanced birthday present. Something I've been wanting and awesome parents have fulfilled this for me! Thank you so so much! I love it, but I still love the both of you so much more!

So yes, my parents got me a DSLR! Nikon D60! Thank youuuuuuu so much! And I can't thank them enough, even more so when I see the effort they're putting in for my birthday party to make sure it'll be a memorable one. I opt to celebrate it at home instead of a chalet though they wanted to cause I like it better that way. :) Maybe that'll answer some of your questions as to why I'm not doing a chalet or something for my party. Haha.

And yessssss I cut, dyed and highlighted my hair. Been comtemplating to do it and my sis-in-law decided for me in the end. :D Another strike off my wishlist. Thanks Kak Dira for the treat! Hehe. I feel loved by this people around me <3 Thank god for them. Me loves you all many many deep deep!

smile

2009-07-09T00:19:00.002+08:00

I keep feeling that I have something on this weekend but can never seem to recall what. Sheeeesh my memory is failing me and I'm only turning 20 this year :(

Anyways I visited my grandad today. At long last! Been so long since I've last seen him and it was awesome. He and his antics never failed to make me laugh, and he didn't even need to put in any effort :) Sorry Nadiah and the others for not joining you guys. :(

And I don't know what my sister is up to but she came into my room and started singing and dancing like one lunatic woman. Hahaha!

Oh my handphone's half dead anyway. I cannot pick up calls cause there's some problem with it. So.. if you all need to get me just text me alright? :)

UT tomorrow! Die cause I cannot understand a thing I read from just now. And I'm sleepy.

otak 3 minit

2009-07-06T19:51:00.003+08:00

HQO ends in aboout 1hour 45 minutes! Awesome.

I'll be back at school tomorrow and I'm kinda psych to just get this semester done and over with. I have Database UT2 tomorrow too, and I'm surprised with my UT1 grade for Networking considering the fact that it's one of my weaker module and I didn't bother studying much for it. Hehe. I expected a fail grade. Hoho. So I'm left with approximately 5 weeks of school till the next term break. It is thaaaaaaat fast. And I hope I don't have to go LOA again because e-learning and me just do not go on the same line. I don't learn anything. =/

Anyway, my dad got angry with the printer today. HAHA.This is so random but it made me laugh early in the morning. Unfortunately, my printer had some problems and it doesn't seem to be able to print anything. So I just stood there giggling, listening to my dad rant at the printer. Literally getting mad at it. So when someone called on his phone, I quickly took the printer away before he does damage to it. Lol, my dad is that weird/funny but I still love him because he bought me chocolates once his quarantine order got lifted! (: In a way, being sick isn't all that bad because you get pampered with goodies! Hehe. And everyday my mum asked me what food I'd like her to cook and she'd prepare it for me. Hehe my parents are awesomeee :) Love love them, they really took good care of me during this period and I'm really thankful to have them.

I am cutting my long tresses sometime next week! I've finally made up my mind after countless persuasion from my friends and family. So yeah stop changing my mind already okay cause I'm fickle like that and one comment from you can affect my decision! Lol. But on second thoughts I might consider again. HAHA talk about being fickle. I get irritated with myself at times because I never seem to be able to stick to a decision well. =/

I'm off to watch TV before turning in for the night!

apprehension

2009-07-03T01:28:00.002+08:00

I was supposed to be asleep already but I can't seem to get my eyes shut. I've been worrying myself with two issues, that is..

1) I'm worried for all the people I've infected, and hope they all recover soon. Especially worried for my nephew who's only a year plus. He's down with a high fever now and I can't help but blame myself for passing this virus around. Erghh irritating virus. Why can't it just attack me without infecting the rest. Tsk. But you all please please please take care and drink lots of water okay!

2) I'm worried about my daily grades. I went into my leo and got freaked out from looking at all the X's! Too many, I wish I could just go to school, sick or not. Sigh. Its worrying and I'm afraid I can't pass some of the modules. My grades aren't fantastic to begin with. Bleagh this is sickening.

I'm still in the recovering process though, except for the fact that my fever comes and goes and my cough, sore throat and runny nose still persist. And I know I haven't been replying the tags but do note I have read all the tags and appreciate them very much okay. <3

I really should get my rest now.

H1N1

2009-07-01T17:08:00.005+08:00

Okay, so if you all haven't heard, I've got infected by the much dreaded virus, H1N1. Well, definitely a lot better now, as compared to the time where my temperature rised up to 40.6 degrees in the hospital and they had to put me on drips and what nots, taking my blood and urine sample and performing all sorts of test on me. Horrible, horrible experience. I had to stay in the ward for two nights and just got home today. Feels so good to be home!

I need to isolate myself though for now, away from my other family members. Its really boring having to coop myself up in the room! Hopefully I'll completely recover by 6th so I'll be back in school by 7th. :) And I'm really guilty over the fact that I had passed on this virus to my dad, my sister in law and my poor niece! :( So sorry you guys, I didn't know I was carrying the virus around. :(

And Bad, I hope you'll get well soon okay. Please take care and refer yourself to the hospital if it gets worse! And anyone who's been in close contact with me, monitor your health okay?

And most of my classmates are happy over the fact that they are on LOA, most not knowing that it was me who caused them to get it. =X

Thanks for the concern every one! <3

under the weather

2009-06-29T10:15:00.002+08:00

I am sick. :( My temperature shoots up to 39.1 degrees today and I am waiting for my mum to be back so we can go to the doc. Sigh!

-

2009-06-28T07:52:00.002+08:00

Its 7.52 am in the morning and I just got back from my cousins place. The birthday party was awesomeeeee! Mainly cause I was the photographer and get to meddle with the SLR. Awesomeness. Hehehe.

Anyway I'm meeting my girlies at 10 later for flea market! Weee. Ok bye.

don't let me crumble

2009-06-24T22:54:00.004+08:00

Setbacks in life are inevitable. No matter how deep you try to coop yourself up in your shell, you can never go deep enough to avert it. I know despite what I have chose to do, I'll still have to get out of it and face the music. Its daunting to know what awaits me out there, it makes me want to just wanna stay in my comfort zone. I'm not ready to be pelt with problems after problems. All I want to do is build a defence for myself and keep myself well guarded so I don't have to face the world.

I don't know what's the next move I'm gonna have to make. Only thing I know is its mandatory for me to make a decision quick because the longer time I take to think, the greater the damage done. As of now, I know I've already created quite a substantial amount of hurt. And I'm truly sorry. But I don't want to be carrying such a heavy burden with me everywhere I go, I don't wanna go around faking a smile, I don't wanna neglect my ownself for something unattainable, I don't wanna be holding onto a rope that'll rupture and land me in an abyss, thus whatever decision I'm going to make, trust me it'll hurt but it'll heal, in a matter of time.

Perhaps it'll take time to understand where I'm coming from, but these are the thoughts that's been bothering me.

a little in depth

2009-06-24T00:06:00.007+08:00

Emmmm I just took a quiz and its scary how accurate the results can get because its exactly what I'm feeling at this point of time. I highlighted the most accurate one. :)

Existing Situation

Feeling stressed out due to her current situation and the demands which are placed on her. Working to release herself from all things that hold her back or tie her down.

Stress Sources

Concerned about unhappy relationships; feels as there is no hope to restore friendship and trust. The situation is depressing but feels she must continue although she is exhaustive.

Restrained Characteristics

"Feels she is not receiving her fair share and is unable to rely on anyone for support or sympathy. she keeps her emotions bottled up, leaving her quick to take offense to small things. she tries to make the best of her situation."

Feels unhappy and isolated because she is unable to succeed in finding the cooperation and understanding she desires.

"Is emotionally demanding, especially during intimate moments, which leaves her feeling frustrated because she is unable to find a perfect union."

Desired Objective

"Feels she is in a hopeless situation, which causes her to feel depressed. she resists things which she finds difficult or not to her liking and shields herself from the things which irritate her. "

Actual Problem

"Feeling a lack of energy, she does not wish to be involved in further activity or give in to demands. she is feeling powerless causing her stress, agitation, and irritation. she reacts by becoming the victim and feeling as if everyone is out to get her. Demands with annoyance that she needs to get her own way."

Actual Problem #2

Feeling anxious and restless frustration toward current situation or unfulfilled emotional requirements are causing stress. she reacts by blaming others for her shortcomings and acts out in a rebellious and harsh way.

Mhhh.

babi guling

2009-06-15T21:49:00.011+08:00

So I'm back from Bali and was immediately greeted with tests this week. I even had to make a trip to school despite getting back only in the morning for the test! What a bummer! Tsk tsk. But well, the Bali trip was awesome! I loved the villa we stayed in! Toilet was humongous, sofas was furnished with tons of pillows (i loved having lots of pillows around me, if you don't know), the house was spacious and so cosy and well, i loved it. Heh. It was shopping madness for all of us in Bali cause the stuffs were cheap! Heh.

Now can someone get me that SLR? It takes awesome photos and I can never get my hands off it! Heh heh, I took alot of random shots using it and photos amounted up to 844 photos, and practically ignored my digicam, heh which only has 200plus photos. I am so awesome like that right. HAHAHAHA. But well on a different note, after taking the above photo, I got pulled into the pool, along with a few others. Haha! But it was still fun nonetheless. Everyone's so easy to get along with and I loved the company. :)

One of the days we had lunch at a dirty duck diner and I don't know how they can enjoy eating ducks. Haha the only vision I had in mind was a duck with a yellow beak waddling in the water. So yeah somehow cute and unedible. HAHA.

Anyways! I tried Parasailing and it was quite an experience! Now how often do you see someone going up in a dress? HAHA! I was totally not dressed for the occasion because I didn't plan on playing any of the activities there. But temptation got the better of me. So now you see a girl with a dress up there. Haha, but yes paraisailing is awesome, loved the scenery you get to see from up there!

The parasailers! Heh Mummy Timah was brave enough to go up there considering her age!

Banana Boaters! I didn't do this one though I badly wanted to cause you're sure to get wet. It comes in a package, you see. Haha! They sure came back wet cause the boat overturned and they all had to get new clothes. HAHA thank god I made a wise decision. :D

Don't ask me what's with the poses. Haha!

We even had barbeque in the villa one of the nights, haha. Late night chats and such was one of the things I enjoyed and I'd definitely want to go there again in future! Hehe. So we ended the trip with seafood dinner by the beach, a treat from Kak Ina the birthday girl and watched the sunset. I loved the sunset cause its something you'd never get to see in Singapore. And it was a nice way to end the trip. :)

So now its back to school and bloody test! Erghhhhhhhh.

Oh! Did I tell you there was a shirt with a slogan that said "I love Babi". HAHAHAHAHAHAHA and Ballibong instead of Billabong! HAHAHAHAHA funny ah. Kay bye.

getaway

2009-06-09T00:56:00.003+08:00

I am off to Bali like.. today!

Heh heh heh.

This is so awesome. :D

Take care everyone!

Be back on Monday morning!

Bye.

sunday morning

2009-06-07T01:50:00.001+08:00

hahahahaha I am webcamming with this two monkeys right now, and its funny how they're hiding under the blanket to avoid being seen.

-_-

Cute, yes?

Haha!

therapeutic

2009-06-04T23:22:00.002+08:00

Boo! Hahahahaha. Okay hello.

Ehmmm, first of all, I cannot wait for my getaway trip to Bali! I was talking to my cousin about it and the plans we have lined up for us is awesome. Shopping of course, topping the list! Hehehe! I don't really care about the minor setbacks I got today, because I am still going to enjoy myself there! Hohohoho. Anyway failure is a step closer to success so yes! I am not upset over it people! Heh heh. I'll get it sooner or later! Just a matter of time! Hahaha.

Anyway I went to JB after a long long long long time today and well I think the malls there are not bad at all! We went over to Jusco ( Yeah my first time, lol!) and it somehow reminds me of Vivocity.

You know whaaaat! I lost the drive to blog more! HAHAHA. I shall focus my attention on something else!

and tag, you're it

2009-06-03T00:24:00.009+08:00

1: Besides your lips , where is your favourite spot to get kissed ?
Forehead. Haha.

2: How do you feel when you woke up this morning ?
Sleepy but happy, cause the first person I see was my niece!

3: Who was the last person you took a photo with ?
My nieceeeeee.

4: Would you consider yourself to be spoilt ?
Not exactly.

5: Would you ever donate blood ?
Yes, in future! When I'm over my fear of needles. :D

6: Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex ?
Hmm, yeah.

7: Do you want someone dead ?
Nope.

8: What does your last text message say ?

A random question from Nadiahhh, too lazy to check. Heh.

9: What are you thinking of right now ?
How am I going to fare on Thursdayy. Damn nervous!

10: Do you wish someone was with you right now ?
Haha. Hmmm. I have my niece with me now, so that'll do! :D

11: What time did you go to sleep last night ?
Earlyyyyy! 12plus! Awesome right. Hehe.

12: Where did you buy the T-shirt you are wearing now ?
Thailand. Hoho.

13: Is someone on your mind right now?
Hehe. Yeah. :)

14: Who was the last person to text you?
Nadiahhhhh.
15: 10 people tagged to do this quiz (NOT NECESSARY TO DO, UNLESS YOU'RE AS BORED AS I AM. I JUST NEED UR NAMES OK!):
1. Nadiah
2. Kila
3. Bad
4. Liza
5. Sophiani
6. Naj
7. Saiful
8. Zinky
9. Zima
10. Izza

16: Who is 2 having a relationship with ?
*Rizal!

17: Is 3 a male or a female ?
*She's secretly a male! HAHAHA.

18: If 7 and 10 get together will that be a good thing ?
*Saiful and Izza? Hoho, you tell me. ;)

19: What is Number 1 studying about ?
*Something sucky. Bout DNA and such. sheeesh!

20: Is Number 4 single?
*Taken! :D

21: Say something about Number 2 ?
*Kilaa, awesome girlfriend! Can never have a decent photo taken. haha!

22: What do you think about Number 3 and 6 being together ?
*Haha. Err, neh. They're both happily attached!

23: Describe Number 9
*She is one crazy girl that I adore! Can never stay sane with her around. haha!

24: What'll you do if 6 & 7 fight ?
*Haha, I'll think about it if they know each other.

25: Do you like Number 8 ?
*HAHA. He's an awesome friend! :D And I like anyone who is my friend! Now you all can go awwwwww. Hehh!

So yeah I was bored and had nothing better to do! Can't sleep cause I am feeling nervous bout it even though it's two days away! Bleaghh.

nothing else matters

2009-05-31T23:33:00.002+08:00

These are photos that have been taken from the past few days! Meeting my girlies was awesome! They're such a lovable bunch of girlfriends and I am so glad I've got them in my life. :) Cause with them, it's always endless amount of laughters and jokes. I love you girlies!

Mum treated all of us to dinner at Beach Road! Awesome time being able to have both paternal and maternal cousins over. Thanks Mum!

And I've got to know that my grandpa is now residing at my aunts over at Yishun! AWESOME OR WHAAAT! Meeting him wouldn't be so difficult anymore. I'm so glad, so very glad! :D I miss my Superman! Can't wait to see him soooooooooooooooooon!

Anyways I think I've been out alot this week! Hahahaha. Holidays are here, and I can't wait for Bali getaway trip!

5 more minutes to the month of June! No biggie, I know. I just feel like counting down cannot meh?! Hahahahaha.

%$@$(#@%

2009-05-30T01:01:00.003+08:00

BLOOODY HELL.

As a result of some unexpected technical issues with our Understanding Test (UT) system last week, some of the UTs that were conducted on 19, 20 and 21 May 2009 resulted in unreliable recording of students’ answers.

In order to ensure that all UT scores are reliable and fair, it has been decided that the following UTs that were conducted last week are declared null and void, and are now re-scheduled to the dates shown below.

18/06/09 - Database Systems

19/06/09 - Data Comm and Networking

So now I have to bloody retake two UTS plus another two UTS and it's all on the first week of school! THANKS EHH RP.

my queen

2009-05-29T17:16:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday, Mummy!

Words and actions put together aren't enough to show how much gratitude I have for you.

Thank you for bringing me up, nurturing me to be the person I am now.

I am so proud to call you my mum, and that will never falter.

I appreciate the love you have showered me all along.

I love you so much mum!

Enjoy your trip with Dad!

guilty party

2009-05-24T00:49:00.006+08:00

This isn't the way it was supposed to be, right? I've been acting against my own conscience, which often leaves me asking myself whether what I am doing is right or wrong. I'm at the state where I failed to differentiate what is right and what is wrong. I got myself tangled up in a mess, and I'm totally helpless. I really don't know how to face up to the bitch-ass reality. All I know right now is that I am in the wrong and I cannot salvage this no matter what I do because one is bound to be miffed. I'm peeved at myself for getting myself in this mess.

Right now, I don't know who to turn to. And I got guilt plastered all over me. Fuck. Hate this, hate this, hate this.

Life isn't all butterflies and rainbows, right?

And problems just come tumbling one after another.

Gimme a break, please.

I need to sort myself out first before I can start thinking coherently again.

go Kris!

2009-05-21T11:54:00.008+08:00

So Kris Allen made my day by bagging the American Idol title.

CAN I JUST SCREAM OUT LOUD! I AM SO HAPPY!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I love you Kris! Hehehehehe mentel mode on hor.

And you all should check out my FB status! Ergh Kris so did not win on luck!

HE IS TALENTED DAMMIT. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

And my mum is so cute, she just texted me saying

"Adik, my favourite won."

Then after I replied her, she said

"Gay kalah padan muke."

HAHA BIAS HOR MY MUMMY? Tsk tsk.

I still like Adam though, gay or not.

He is talented, but I still choose Kris over him. :D

Sorry Adam. ;P

guilt-ridden

2009-05-20T20:54:00.007+08:00

I just watched American Idol. Its aweeesome(4hours ago actually. I got distracted and abandoned this entry for a little while hehehe). Hahahaha. But it sucks that the results have to clash with my school hours! Ergh. But it doesn't really matter now. Kris or Adam, I'll still be happy. :) Though secretly deep within me a small small part of me hope Kris wins. Hehe because he is so adorable! His eyes is so mesmerizing and his smile is so cute nak mampos. (hehehehe I am so mentel hor hehehehe k diam).

I've yet to study for my Datacomm & Networking UT tomorrow, which happens to be one of the modules I detest. Apart from Java of course. Hahaha.

And ya la ya la. I am feeling so guilty over something. I am so wicked like that. :( But I'm really sorry though to the both of you.

Anyway I need to clear my laptop pronto! It is starting to lag a little and I need to get an external hard disk soon!

I am hooked on Mafia Wars, Fashion Wars and whatever Wars lah! HAHAHAHA. Join my mafia, anyone? Hohohoho. Plus Restaurant City and Hell's Kitchen is awesome too. But it is bad for me because I am constantly playing them in class instead of paying attention! =X HEHE.

I have some webcam pictures to share! You all can ignore my face because the highlight should be on my niece. She look like mafia you know!

higgledy-piggledy

2009-05-14T01:01:00.002+08:00

Its a little late to be updating about my niece and nephew's birthday party right now. You all prolly viewed the pictures via facebook, so lets just leave it at that.

Anyways! School has been mentally exhausting. I cannot stand Java programming, if you haven't already known that. But I can't exactly hate it either, cause once I do, I'm doomed. I'm trying to nurture my interest in it, but as it gets tougher, my interest in it also seems to dissipate. Ohwells, I have about two more weeks to go before the holidays.

And speaking of holidays, I'm off to Bali with my cousins! Awesome. The only thing is that I'll be back on the 15th and I have UT on that day. Great. I can't miss any UT ever since they implemented the new system. Hmmm, I'll have to sort that out soon.

Oh! American Idol is getting so interesting. Doesn't really matter who won though, cause I love all three of them. They're awesomely hot, and I loved Kris Allen rendition of Heartless.

Abang Asrul treated me to a movie just now and we watched X-Men Origin! AWESOMEEEEE. HUGH JACKMAN IS SO HOT HOT HEAT LA. I want a boyfriend like him can?! Hahahaha and we played Timezone while waiting for the movie to start! I feel like a kid all over again and despite the countless times I lost to him in a car race, I still don't wish to admit that I am a bad driver! Hahaha.

I think today's entry is pretty messed up cause its just all over the place but heck. I don't care because right now I want to read a book before heading to bed!

And I've been sent to the guilt trip plenty of times, but I'll save that for the next entry, I think.

only one

2009-05-10T00:15:00.002+08:00

Happy Mothers' Day, Mummy.

I can say so many things here, but I'd rather keep it short and sweet.

I love you so so much, I swear I do.

And I'll try my very best to be the daughter you dream of me to be.

*hugs*

breakouts!

2009-05-06T23:13:00.003+08:00

I wanted to have a proper update but I happened to look at myself in the mirror and its depressing when I see the pimples on my face. Its horrible and it is severely diminishing my self-esteem. Not that I have a high one to begin with. But honestly, I feel like smashing the mirror! I am not kidding when I say its horrible. H-O-R-R-I-B-L-E! Its like a new one pops out the moment another is about to disappear. The horror! And yes, I would appreciate it if no one comments on how bad my breakouts are because it is slowly eating me up on the inside.

I know I know I'm making such a big fuss over something minor, but it is a big deal to me because I look too horrible that its a sin to label me as human. :(

Horrid horrid horrid.

Ugly ugly ugly.

Sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

why must it be monday blues, not greens?

2009-05-04T15:41:00.003+08:00

This faci has got to be one of the most long winded person I've ever known. Sigh, I am in class right now, about to fall asleep! For sure my grade today will be terrible, owing to the fact that I came in class at 1050am and did little discussion.

HAHAHA.

win some, lose some

2009-05-04T02:18:00.004+08:00

There are some things you have to let go, but when you do, you'll feel a whole lot better. :) I let go some, and I gained some in return. So life's pretty fair at the end of the day, right? Awesome.

Surely the one above has got something better in store for us, but in return we have to cross a few hurdles. So yes, it isn't all that bad when you look on the bright side of things. :)

Its kind of refreshing to see things in a different perspective. I like it.

I will update on my niece& nephew birthday party soon!

three times is heartbreaking

2009-04-25T03:05:00.001+08:00

I'll be away for some time.

Will be back when everything gets better.

shut up and die

2009-04-23T22:28:00.002+08:00

I was about to update in detail bout the things that happened last weekend, but I lost the mood for it. Well just look at the pics, it speaks a thousand words.

Botanic Gardens with Nad, Naj and Naz. Awesome!

Zahra's 18th Birthday Party. It was cool, and at one point of time I had to do a Dangdut Dance and I dragged Abg Asrul with me. Hahaha. And I cannot forget Jan's friend who had to dance HipHop. Freaking funny!

wolf in sheeps clothing

2009-04-21T19:48:00.008+08:00

Do you enjoy playing with hearts and let others be taken in by your words?

I hate being deceived, I really do. I especially hate it when you tried so hard to gain that person's trust in you, but in the end you break it like as if it was just a piece of useless trash. Tell me, how am I ever supposed to trust your species again? Tell me, is it fair that I was left not knowing anything despite knowing there's something going on? Tell me, do you ever deserved to be trusted again?

In such a short span of time, everything changed. I am not upset, but I am disappointed that you had to tamper with the word trust. Its so fragile, don't you know that? Why can't you just tell me straight in the face? Why do you have to do it in the sly like as if it was one of the biggest crime? It only resulted in me not being able to have faith in anyone anymore. Do I blame you, or do I blame myself?

You played the game so well, too well. But you ended it like a sore loser.

Thanks for proving to me what a real bastard you can really be, and thanks for showing that I should never ever trust anyone no matter how much they tried to instill the trust in me.

retarded keyboard

2009-04-21T01:11:00.002+08:00

I am so pissed at myself for destroying my laptop's keyboard. =(

Now I can't do my smileys because that particular button is spoiled. =(

Now I have to use the = sign instead of the colon/semicolon.

I am so sad!!

I hate my itchy hands lor.

So irritating nak mampos.

And I can get so dumb at times. Sigh.

beautiful disaster

2009-04-14T17:32:00.004+08:00

I finally met up with my FF girls! It was a really short one though, but we all managed to catch up with one another way or another. Upcoming outing, Zoo trip okay girls? :)

My sister treated all of us to dinner at Carousel last Sunday. Awesome! It was fun, and I love the desserts. Haha, thats the only reaon why I took pictures of the desserts and ignored the rest of the food. Haha!

Oh, on a side note, I had a very pleasant surprise before that. Thank you for the effort to make it up. So sweet of you. Hehe. :)

Thanks Kakak for the treat! You're awesome! (at times, ha ha!)

Anyways yesterday was good. :) I had fun, thank you. :) Thanks for tolerating with me though I whine too much about how hot it was and you had to personally fan me with your hat. Haha! Awwwwwesome. Heh.

And on a totally random note, this Nadiah ah, she is constantly on my mind. HAHA! Because whenever I drink green tea, which is like almost everyday, I'd remember her constant nagging at me telling me how bad green tea will be for me. But anyway babe, I will heed your advice when I am married and want to have kids ok? Hehe. I am so sweet like that right to be thinking of you. HAHA!

And damn, school is re-opening real soon. No more late nights for me! Riiiiiight. As if that would stop me from sleeping late! HAHAHA.

simple things yet big impact

2009-04-11T21:17:00.004+08:00

My dad is awesomely sweet. :)

He never was a person who would express his love for us verbally, so as I was looking through photos taken the other time, I was awed when he named the photo

"my pride and joy."

And yeap, there you go.

Me, my brother and my sister.

His and mums' pride and joy.

paranoid

2009-04-09T15:34:00.002+08:00

I keep hearing voices around me, even though no one's home.

I heard the television playing but none of the television were even switched on.

I heard someone showering in the toilet but the toilets were empty.

I swear I heard my mum talking outside, so I went out but no one's there.

I keep hearing people walking outside, opening and closing the door.

I don't know to say whether its freaky or not, but it makes me think I'm crazy.

patrick starfish

2009-04-09T00:22:00.004+08:00

Sigh, this feeling is horrible.

I miss you, terribly.

Babygirl

2009-04-08T00:08:00.001+08:00

Its my niece birthday today!

Happy 5th Birthday baby girl.

I love love love love love you so much.

everybody knows, but nobody really knows

2009-04-07T16:21:00.003+08:00

Shopping with Nadiah and Aisha yesterday was awesome. Though we didn't get to check off most of our wishlist(because girls being girls, we are so indecisive like that), we still had fun getting together for some girly fun. We're planning another shopping trip next week, and a day out to Botanic Gardens! Hehe. Its funny how plans started coming up only when school is reopening. Sigh. Anyways, we had Coffeebean after all that walk and I can't help recalling Nadiah mentel moments. Hehehe. And how she texted me that night because she can't sleep. HAHA!

Anyway, the pictures below are long overdue. Its the time when I treated Fiza and Cikna to dinner and Starbucks, and headed to their house afterwards.

Anyway, I am so lazy to type out more, because I am so tired. The weather is perfect for sleep. Hoho. And my sister just got back and about to start her nagging spree. HAHA! Kay, bye.

S*

2009-04-06T02:56:00.005+08:00

I have tons of things going on in my mind right now, and it doesn't help that its already 3 in the morning. Sigh.

Lately, I haven't been able to go to sleep with a peace of mind. I derived far too many absurd conclusions at the end of the day from the things said or done earlier on. It doesn't help that the settings of my mind spells paranoia. Anything said or done is opposed too frequently, that its hard for me to differentiate what is right and what is wrong. My mind is often violated with the inner voice, the inner voice that always seek nothing but trouble for me. Sigh. As hard as I try to fend off this voice in me, its always reaching out for me. I can only afford to be vulnerable and give in to it.

I am sorry to you, for you've been patient with me, yet I never failed to disappoint you time and again. Numerous promises were made from me to you to be more open and not bottle up my emotions. I never want you to be the one having to handle this burden here, but I can't bear to see you go either. I should learn to be more adapting to people and learn to dissect the good from bad. I know I seem to doubt your words most of the time, but please know that I don't. I do have faith in you. And no doubt you've carved a part of yourself in me.

I miss you.

good laughs

2009-04-03T04:12:00.009+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHA 4am in the morning and I can't stop laughing because of this two videos! Watch! Don't forget to stop my music though.

HAHAHAHA THAT IS FREAKING FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I needed the laugh anyway, since the night didn't really end on a good note. Sigh.

Invogue

2009-04-01T01:08:00.003+08:00

The photos are out and damn, I look fucking hideous. I pray nobody bothers to look through my photos because they are bloody embarrassing. Haha, but I like the above photo though, it looks nice. But nah, I am obviously not going to put the other photos. So yeay, say hello to ugly Sheila. The photos have decreased my self-esteem by 110%. Bleagh!

hanging on a thread

2009-03-29T00:44:00.003+08:00

I had an awesome time just now playing Scrabble with my dad and sis. I won, yeay! That is definitely something because never once have I won my dad in this game, so that only means I have improved and my dad has lost his touch. Hehe! AWEEEEEEEEEESOME. ;D

Today, my bro in law and sister is having their off day, so prolly we are going cycling in the morning! After so long! Our plans to cycle have been called off a few times due to the weather. I do hope tomorrow weather will be fine!

Its less than a month and its back to school. Presentations, RJs and whatnot. I'm not really sure if I'm looking forward to it, but I'm psych to be making new friends. I do miss schooling, but I'm prepared to eat those words back once I've started.

Okay, now I need to distract myself and look for things to do. Daunting thoughts are starting to invade my mind. Sigh sigh sigh. Its such a torture to be going through this. Circumstances don't permit for me to be able to do something about it and besides I do not want to create havoc and create tension among people. It sucks, but I'm thankful someone has always been there for me. Thank you. :)

FF girlies

2009-03-24T22:42:00.002+08:00

Bad and Liza crashed over at my place just now after dropping by school for a while. An impromptu plan but it was great fun playing board games in my room! You girls definitely made my day a good one. And I am always the winner when it comes to Scrabble (hehehe) but a loser when it comes to Uno Rummy Up. Haha.

And as the picture above said, Kilawati and Finny were definitely missed! Lets have a sleepover at my place! :D

Down, down and down

2009-03-22T22:35:00.003+08:00

Things have pretty much taken a turn for the downhill.

I've never been one who is good at expressing what I feel, so I'm pretty comfortable just keeping mum about it. But lately I began to realise that this custom of mine isn't doing me any favours. Instead it is working against me. I lost more than I gained. I hurt more than I loved. I threw more than what I have.

I never asked for things to turn out this way, but when it already happened, what do I make out of it?

is it only right if you choose for it to be right?

2009-03-20T20:27:00.004+08:00

My week wasn't too bad. It was fun, most of the time. At the very least, I get to meet these girlfriends of mine! Nadiah being Nadiah, was too lazy to get out of her house, so we proceeded to her house in spite of the heavy downpour, from Woodlands and Boon Lay. (Exaggerate more so she'll feel guilty lah, :D)

These girls definitely made my day, with the constant laughters and camwhoring sessions. And Naj, you can definitely make us laugh eh! HAHA.

We watched "Coming Soon" at Tampines Mall afterwards and Nadiah actually covered her eyes 99.8% of the movie. Tsk, haha. The movie was all right, quite funny actually. Haha. But this Nadiah right, she never realises she grabs my hand hard whenever she's afraid! Thanks though! HAHA.

I fetched my niece afterwards and headed home.

She definitely has the potential to be a camwhore in future! She took her own photos using my camera while I was watching the telly. Geez, this girl sure knows how to manage a camera! And I am hoping that her birthday celebration would go as planned cause my sister in law wanted to have a theme-party and it'll be Ballroom! Fun or what!

My niece finished up that whole plate of chicken rice. Haha, she is so cute lah.

Wednesday's plan to Jurong Bird Park got cancelled because my niece has a high fever the night before. Pity her though, she wanted so much to meet Naimah. But no one expected her to be sick, so another time then. Brought her to the doctor instead and the queue was like.... crap. I slept over her house that night.

Thursday, I was out with a friend and it was good. :) It's not boring okay, and stop being so guilty over the littlest things! Was at town and then headed to the airport to meet the rest of his friends.

I stayed home instead today, though my sister had woken me up early morning to "party!". And by that she meant doing the house chores. Tsk. She wanted to head over to Sembawang Shopping Centre but the weather wasn't in our favour, so home it was. I got my much needed time at home, and tomorrow, I am unsure of my plans. Hmmm.

Anyways on a side note, I do want to emphasize that I hate being forced to do things I do not want or like, and even though I am nice enough not to tell you off, I do get angry with you. If I say I do not want to, it means I do not want to okay? Stop giving me reasons in order to convince me. I hate that.

Ouh! I already found out my class for next sem and I am hell glad I have Sophiani in class! Vincent is also in my class, so its not that bad.

Its the weekends! Have a good one!

rainy weathers are fine, but not when the flu bug starts spreading around

2009-03-11T22:30:00.003+08:00

I watched American Idol on StarWorld just now and my favourites were awesome! Hoho, Adam Lambert was the best in my point of view, and he is just so h-o-t. I get so high watching his performance. HAHA. Danny Gokey was fantastic, I've always liked him! Allison Iraheta, Michael, Lil Rounds all were.. woooooooooo! Phenomenal. Hehe. Too bad Anoop wasn't very good today! I definitely have a lot of favourites in this season of American Idol. Heh.

Anyway, I caught Chef for Hire on tv just now and I learnt an interesting fact.

Prawns start out as male for the first four years and then turn female for rest of their time. Like wow, they get to be both male and female. Haha. They don't even have to go through surgeries and whatnots. Cool.

I have a trip to Jurong Bird Park next Wednesday! Been so long since I last stepped my foot in there!

muddy-hippo

2009-03-11T00:02:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday, Nur Badriah!

Enjoy your lovely 20th, you're old now.

But that shouldn't stop you from loving me!

HAHA, I know, no link. Heehee.

Love you!

See you soon!

Muacks!

good times

2009-03-10T23:54:00.006+08:00

I had a great, fantastic weekend!

Well initially, dad wanted to go Cameron Highlands/Terengganu/Malacca/Genting Highlands (he couldn't decide, lol) to celebrate his birthday. I wasn't up for any of the idea simply because I didn't feel like going out of Singapore and also because I was totally unprepared.

Dad finally decided to go to Ikea and get furnitures since he wasn't feeling quite well and host a barbeque party the next day at my house! Haha. Great fun. (ISN-ers, I am really sorry I couldn't make it to the picnic cause my dad wanted to host this barbeque party at the very last minute!) I am happy because I got more pillows for my cosy corner. Hehe.

I love pillows, I love having alot of them on my bed, on my cosy corner and just everywhere near me. Hehe.

While shopping for stuffs at Ikea, Kak Ina then messaged me that she wanted to have a mini surprise for Dad at my brother's place. So I had to fib some stories to my parents in order to drag my dad to my brother's place! Haha. Oh well, it was a success. :D

The next day, we were up and early to get more stuffs for barbeque. And yea, I had alot of people laughing at me over the sweet potato incident! I shall not elaborate more on it! But its really dumb and funny at the same time. Oh well cut it short, I threw away the sweet potatoes (not on purpose, I swear!) which mum had so much difficulty in getting it to the extent of arguing with some nyonya's and I had wrapped all of them so nicely in aluminium foil to be barbequed! I was teased throughout the night when all of them claimed that the sweet potatoes are what makes a barbeque party complete! -_- They love making me feel guilty, haha.

Okay pictures of the barbeque!

One thing for sure, my dad is happy! Look at his big grin :D

Despite the barbequeing being a very impromptu plan, I am glad to say it is a definite success. Everybody had their fair share of fun, food, bonding and laughter!

And it definitely got this two cousins of mine worned-out. Hehe.

I took this picture without the two of you knowing. HEHE.

I find this nephew of mine very adorable. He gives this innocent face whenever we bring him out and its so cute it makes me want to bite him!

Don't u feel like biting himmmmmmmmmmmm!

Rin on the Rox

2009-03-06T08:58:00.001+08:00

Gorgeous girls equipped with great voices. You gotta love them! I love it when they sing Halo by Beyonce. Lovely! Love this two girls, they're beyond awesome!

my gratitude for you is beyond words

2009-03-06T00:00:00.000+08:00

For guiding me into the right path in life,

for being patient with me all this while,

for moulding me to what I am now,

for never giving up on me,

for never doubting my words,

for pampering me with all I want and need,

for protecting me throughout my years,

for working so hard just to give me a good life,

for simply being my dad,

for simply being the best.

Words can never justify how thankful I am to have you(and mum) in my life.

Happy 52nd Birthday, Dad.

I Love You.

perfectly fine

2009-03-03T15:16:00.001+08:00

I deleted the previous entry cause it made me sound.. crazy!

I am sane, don't worry.

disposition

2009-03-02T01:22:00.004+08:00

First of all, in the case where you guys are going to call me using a number I do not know, please sms me beforehand and let me know who you are. I've been getting frequent calls from unknown numbers and its irritating the hell out of me! Now on, I am not going to answer calls from unknown numbers. I'm sorry if its of much trouble, but damn there's this particular person who irritates me like shit and likes using different numbers to contact me! Psycho!

Saturday was good. It started out with me sending my niece off for Phonics classes at 9 and then it was cycling with Abg Erwin to War Memorial at Kranji. Then it was back to Woodlands to fetch my niece back from her class. I haven't cycled for a long time because I had syncope the last two trips. Thought it was okay to cycle again after a week's break but I almost had another syncope when we went. Weird, but what the hell anyway.

So we had a rest at home while waiting for sis to be back from her netball tournament. Afterwhich we headed to town, they wanted to get some stuff for my aunt. Dinner was at Swensens, yummeh! Heh. Anyways I hated going town that day because it was crowded and raining, but the rain finally subside. I like rainy weathers, but not when I'm out. Hoho.

Proceeded to Aunts' place at Yishun. She just shifted here and I'm thrilled because its nearby, and I can see them cousins more often. Yeay for me! Anyway Fizah, you owe me Starbucks! Hehe.

It was also funny how I suddenly got the mood to clear up my wardrobe at 3 in the morning after I got back from my Aunts'. 3am! It freaks me out and made me think I was possessed. Haha. But end result was good, my wardrobe is finally fit for the eyes to view, and I've thrown out a whole lot of clothes. (Padahal belom, masih one corner, macam sayang gitu nk buang! =D)

I woke up shocked today, upon seeing the time and that caused me a migraine. HAHA! Seriously, I did not expect myself to wake up thaaaaaaat late. I was so shocked and thank god my parents are out. They'll scream at me had they known the time I wake up. My parents are quite particular about this kind of things you know! Hehh.

Anyway, I just need to say this to Nad.

"HAHA you've always been laughing at the fact I am older than you, but now I shall laugh at you because you're not certified to watch Bloody Valentine 3D whereas I am! ITS M18 HAHAHAHAHA! Being old isn't that bad!"

Okay I still know you love me deep deep after I say this cause I always make you laugh. We shall find a way to get you in the cinema with the rest okay if the plan on Thursday is on? Heh.

Its the start of the week again. Have a lovely week ahead!

irreplaceable

2009-02-26T21:40:00.004+08:00

I finally managed to visit my grandfather just now. Happy indeed, I missed him alot. However, I hate the fact I always go home with a heavy heart after visiting him, without fail. Just looking at him makes me want to cry cause I'm so afraid of losing him. Even right now, I'm still missing him. I wished he was still living with me, cause I do miss his presence in my house. But I'm glad he was rather well when I visited him just now, laughing and smiling most of the time. :)

There was one setback though. He didn't recognise me. I was sitting there at the coffeeshop with him when he asked, "Where's Sheila?". I told him that I am Sheila and he didn't believe, he insisted I didn't bring Sheila along and that I am my sister. He then go on about why I did not bring Sheila along to see him. I tried to convince him it was me, and he just kept quiet. Sigh, I don't blame him though. I know that as he grow older, his memory tend to fail him. At the very least, I'm happy enough he asked about me, that's all that really matters. I'm still in his heart. :) I love you, grandpa. I really do. You'll always be in my prayers and I'll try to make it a necessity for me to visit you every week.

American Idol is on now! I'm rooting for Adam Lambert this week! Hoho.

I just watched it and Allison Iraheta totally nailed it! I hope she gets through(with Adam of course!) Hehehehehehe.

you portray lies

2009-02-25T21:54:00.004+08:00

Yes, you do. I'm not making judgmental claims, but even if you want to lie to me, lie good. Get it? Your lies are flawed. I'm surprised you thought I am that dumb to fall for it. Don't ever underestimate me, okay? Being mute about certain things does not mean I am on the same track as you.

And I am constantly being annoyed by this certain someone. Stop trying to get me to entertain you by using several numbers to message or call me okay? I know its the same person despite the different numbers you use. I am not interested, so just fucking leave me alone will you? I don't want to be mean, but I cannot stand being annoyed by you!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

chronic insomnia

2009-02-25T04:01:00.002+08:00

All right, I am supposed to be asleep right now. I have driving lesson later, and I have to be up early cause its all the way at Ubi. But I am not sleepy at all, and god, it's already 4 in the morning. Dammit, I hate my sleeping patterns. I would love to sleep early and wake up early so that my day don't get wasted. With my current sleeping pattern, by the time I wake up, half of my day is gone. Don't say I didn't try sleeping early, I did try okay! It just never works. Argh!

Okay cool.

I shouldn't let this can't-sleep-syndrome overpower me right? So I better force myself to sleep now.

You're indispensable

2009-02-23T00:34:00.005+08:00

Great, I thought I could sleep way earlier today, so I decided to sleep at 10pm today instead of the usual 5am. I did, and woke up at 1230am. Grrrrr, something's definitely wrong with my internal clock. Now, I'm even more wide awake than usual! Ahhhhhhhh.

Results out at 10am tomorrow. Not eager to see my horrendous results, I know how bad I did in Sem 2 compared to Sem 1. Haha.

Anyways, I was out with Nadiah last Friday. We seriously had no idea where to go cause she made me make decisions on where to go. HAHA. So what do you get when you ask me? Dropped at Junction 8, stopped by GV and the movie we wanted to watch wasn't shown there, so we went back to Yishun and we watched He's Just Not That Into You. Hehe nice movie! Sweeeeeeeet. We didn't feel like going town that day cause there's bound to be lots of people. So yeah. Anyway thanks Nadiah for coming all the way to Woodlands, and even despite that still had to wait for me! Heeeeee! I love you okay minah!

I've been addicted to Indon flicks and been watching alot of them. They are such tear-jerkers seriously! HAHA. Especially Radit&Jani. Its amazing, yes. Those who haven't watch it should watch it. Hehe.

Which Indon flicks should I watch today? Hmmm.

On the flipside, I honestly miss my grandfather alot. :( Been so long since I've last seen him, sigh. I hope you're doing well, Atok. Your grand-daughter here misses you tons that it hurts. So sorry I haven't been visiting you lately, you must be thinking I'm one of the worst grand-daughter ever. :( See you soon, this week, hopefully, if all goes well. I hope you're in good health, always. Love you..

FRIENDS THAT MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING

2009-02-16T03:30:00.005+08:00

14th Feb was spent at East Coast with lovely friends. I had an awesome time with them! It was a very small and simple affair, comprising of good food, games(wicked!) and its not complete without the company of the friends! <3

Us, girlies.

We played poker cards, twisters, had gossip sessions, snacked and camwhored while waiting for the guys to get some stuffs we missed out.

Soon after the guys came back, we started barbeque-ing the food(I forgot to take pics of them!), there were plenty! Chicken, hotdogs, fishballs, satay, otah-otah and bla bla bla.. Oh ya! Was glad Fynn could drop by for a little while with John, so it was full force for a moment for the FF girls. :)

Afterwards, we played "The Messy Game!"

The objective of the game was to dig out some food items covered in flour using only our nose and mouth. There is also another food ingredient, supposingly named "Chemical X" and Fathu&Liza actually added spices. Haha. So we had Battle of the Sexes and the girls won! We did, right? HAHA. I forgot. =X

Well it didn't end there. There was a twist at the final round and we had to blow balloons until it burst. Heh, I blew halfway and passed it to Hajar(the winner!) to complete it for me. Heehee, I am just afraid of balloons, bursting.. in my face, you know? Yeah.

The organisers(Fathu&Liza) thought they could get away unscathed, free from being floured, but oh boy, they were wrong. HAHA! Poor them, they'd thought they'd be free from it. :D So we all ended up being all flour-y. Hehe.

Cleaned up the mess afterwards, attempted to finish all the food and played Chap-Chilli-Chap! Freaking funny, haha. Tons of laughter while playing them because of the boys who came up with silly moves. Hahaha.

We left bout 1130, bloated, dirty, but overall, very happy. :)

Thanks for coming, Fynn, John, Hajar & Yusof! We hope you guys had fun!

Thanks Kila&Rizal for the lift to and fro!

Thanks Fathu, Ashek and Rizal for barbeque-ing most of the food!

AND!

Thanks girls for all effort made to make this barbeque a successful one!

So that was the first event we girls organised, if I am not wrong. Hehe. Woo!

More to come in future, girls?

Big Hug all of you!

Love all of you girls deep deep :)

The weather has been so humid nowadays that I rarely switch on the heater for my shower now. I don't know whether its the humidity of the weather or other factors that causes my frequent bouts of migraine. Hate this kind of weather.

On the other hand, I miss my darling niece already, and having her next to me the past few nights I sleep. :(

Have a lovely week ahead!

Lazy days

2009-02-13T00:09:00.004+08:00

I am so angry that my favourite, Jamar Rogers did not get through American Idol! I love his voice, I think its so unique, especially when he sang Hey There Delilah. Plus, I think he's cute too! Hehe. Its really such a disappointment, I'm sure he'll be able to go far if he actually got through. Damn.

(WATCH!! Its only the audio though)

I think he looks a little like Pharrell Williams. Sad lah! But its okay, at least Danny Gokey his bestfriend got in. He's good too. Sigh sigh sigh.

On a brighter note, I have my niece over with me now. I was over at her house and she insisted on going home with me. So.. I have to be up by 7 tomorrow to send her off to school. But its okay, I'll sacrifice my sleep anytime for her. Hehe.

I was out with Bad today to get some stuffs for the barbeque. I am so psyched to meet them all this Saturday cause its been a while.

Anyways, I have days where I am too lazy to entertain anybody, so I'm sorry if I ignored some of you, but I just need some space to breathe. :)

You know whats funny? How people actually think I'm a busy girl despite the fact that I think I actually rot at home most of the time. Haha. Even my driving instructor. Haha. By the way, I am loving my driving lessons cause I get to drive from Ubi to Woodlands, for the fact that my driving instructor lives in Woodlands too. Wooo! Fret not, we didn't break any rules; driving on expressways etc.

Okay, I'm off now. Good night!

ps// i am still not over the fact Jamar Rogers did not get in! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Take a step back

2009-02-06T02:10:00.002+08:00

I followed my sis for her netball tournament just now, and well, it was okay. I wished I could play instead, but too bad, its her tournament! Bleagh.

Anyways, I'll be cycling with Zima tomorrow in the morning, and prolly with Abg Erwin in the afternoon. And Saturday will be the day I die you know? Cause he wants me to cycle all the way to Yio Chu Kang, from woodlands! That's far okay, for me. Prolly not for some, but yes for me. :( He's practising for the OCBC Cycle Singapore(WOOTS WOOTS I DON'T HAVE TO JOIN!) and I have to follow him.

And I hate this creaking sound I've been hearing since just now. Its freaky, considering the fact is 215 in the morning now, and I think this creaking sound is not normal, especially if its coming from upstairs. I think ya'll should know what I mean, hint hint *suicide case*. I don't want to elaborate more cause like I said, its scary, and I have never fully gotten over that incident. It still haunts me at times. So its best I shut up. Omg, if only I can just scream now. Sigh. And someone still can ask me if its a true story! TSK! Can I strangle you? HAHA!

Okay till another time lovelies.

Good night!

Bummed

2009-02-02T00:12:00.007+08:00

I think the most common line a guy uses in order to find out whether a girl is attached or not is by imposing this question on us, "tak klua ngan bf ke?" (translated : not going out with your boyfriend?) I think its irritating. I've gotten it a few times and well, I either ignore them, or if they still irritate me, they're blocked. HAHA. I'm not being mean, but a guy who uses that kind of lines on me just have the potential to turn me off if we develop the conversation any further.

I also do not like it if they try to go into details too much! For example: ( I copied this directly from my conversation with this particular person, but I shall not mention who.)

says:

buat ape ni?

sheila. says:

tgh layan my adek sdare

says:

ehh

so late sampai?

hehe

sheila. says:

hahaha yeaa

says:

mlm2 dtg kenape je?

heh

hehe

sheila. says:

haha sleepover

haha

says:

ohh

nak join?

haha

sheila. says:

haha

says:

boleh eh?

hehe

sheila. says:

haha wth.

says:

haha

ramai2 ke tu sleepover?

sheila. says:

no la

says:

ohh

datang sorang je?

sheila. says:

yup

says:

ohhh

berani dier ehh

heh

LIKE IRRITATING RIGHT?! (Sorry I'm too lazy to translate it to english) I hate it when I get that, all they'll get from me are one word answers, which sometimes they just don't get it that I am irritated from their inquisitive questions. Its like, I don't even know you yet you dig in too much into stuffs.

Okayla enough, I think this is the post-effect of encountering a guy like what I just mentioned above. Heh.

DID YOU GUYS KNOW YESTERDAY I CYCLED FOR 5 FREAKING HOURS?! (I know la no big deal but my bro-in-law made us go through uphils all the time so its very tiring and aching you know) With only like 3 breaks in between which doesn't last even 5minutes just to take pictures! But still at one point of time me and sis get to play the swing, hehe. Macam deprived of childhood eh. Okay back to story, me and my sis was burned out! We couldn't take it anymore and yet my brother in law was like, "want to go to Sembawang Park next?" OMG! And both mine and sis leg and butt were aching so bad. We managed to escape though and home sweet home afterwards.

And today, my bro in law is trying to convince me to join the 40km OCBC Cycle Singapore with him! I am desperately trying to escape this and I hope he gets a friend to join him. I cannot say no to him because he is the best bro-in-law one could ever have so if I say no, it'll be on my conscience. :(

FTT is this Tuesday and I have a feeling I am not gonna pass this again because I seem to forget everything already. But I am going to revise tomorrow with Aisha since she is also having her FTT this week, so I hope I'll be able to scrape through. I don't want to have to wait another 2-3 months for the next test. Speaking bout that, I haven't been going for driving lessons and my instructor keep slots for me which I feel bad since most of the time, I bailed out due to other commitments, and my mum is also nagging at me to start going for lessons again! Whatmore, I have to renew my PDL already! Bleagh.

I rant too much, I am out now! Having a movie marathon with mamat belo. He is so funny cause he wore a wet pants after he showered and I lied to him saying his dick will shrink in size if he continues wearing it. And he believes me cause he is gullible like that. So now he is wearing a girl's shorts instead and Zahra's FBT shorts as his boxers. HAHAHA!

Believe me, its no lie

2009-01-31T01:19:00.003+08:00

So I met up with this gorgeous girlfriend of mine the other day and it was hella good fun! Its never boring with her around cause she never fail to crack me up with her jokes. And its been about six years I've known her, and watch her grew from a tomboy(hehe!) to a girly girl where guys just can't get their eyes off her. Hehe, anyway, it's so good to be able to talk to you about anything under the sun. And thanks for the treat at BaliThai, next time round, my turn to treat you!

I love you, Nurhazimah Vijaya!

And video tu, please jgn expose kat orang eh!

Malu okay! Hehe.

And yesterday, I had a very funny/weird dream. Where I am being chased by women who looks like pen(purple in colour! Its like a head stuck in a pen body, geddit?), and guys dressed in white (Like the Capoeira guys in my school like that. LOL!) and I kept running and running and then trying so hard to build a wall between me and them. But always fail because they keep breaking the wall down, and then they got me, and yeah, that's when I woke up. Haha.

Somehow, I feel like there's a meaning behind the dream, but can't fathom it. Anybody who wanna try intrepreting it? Haha, but waddahell. Its only a dream. I can still remember it quite vividly though!

And my bro-in-law plans to cycle for the whole day tomorrow, starting from 9am! AHH! He's a hardcore cyclist, I am not. Ohwell, I shall suffer with my sister tomorrow and we shall whine together bout the cramps we're bound to get tomorrow. Heh.

So I shall get ample of rest for tomorrow.

Have a good night & have a lovely weekend!